Dogs Gone Wild

Just found this. Some people are not only too stupid to breed, they are actually too dumb to own a dog....well, own one without causing it psychological harm. Oh the things this guy could reveal to Ceasar Millan!!!

Give a Dog a Bone!

In honor of our new addition to our family, I'm posting to remind everyone that pet adoption is cool. We had to look at several places, but Oxford is the MOST awesome dog in the world and I can't imagine why anyone would give him up!

I still cruise through Petfinder.com and saw this little guy. I wonder what gave them the impression that he wouldn't be any good with kids? Cranky....he just looks cranky. Kind of reminds me of mean 'ol Grandma Scott.

At a Loss...

I've come to the conclusion that I just don't understand the world anymore. It's like, I'm riding the rails of life, thinking everything is ok, then all of the sudden....the train drops me off in crazy town.

I feel a Top 10 coming on:

1. WHY would we even CONSIDER letting a convicted felon sit in the senate?
2. Why can a private company like eharmony have their business practicies dictated to them by a U.S. court?
3. When did "By the people" cease to hold any meaning?
4. Why am I expected to trust a government that can't even balance their checkbook?
5. When did "Nationalism" become a dirty word in the english language?
6. ........

Nevermind. I'm so confused, I don't even want to finish.

Manic Monday

Such a strange and surreal Monday. It seems like the world goes through these crazy shifts where the scales become unbalanced to favor good over evil, or vice versa.

In some ways, it seems a little like a tri-fecta: Anne Pressley, Jennifer Hudson, and then two drive by deaths on campus.

Today was sad. Sad and eerily quiet. I never thought I would see a day where I wished there were MORE students in the Student Center. It was like one of those crazy sci-fi movies where some terrifying plague has wiped out 99.9% of the population and the few that are left crawl out into the light, disheveled and confused. Today was like I Am Legend. It was a day filled with trepidation. Not because anything was likely to happen, but because you just couldn't tell if the proverbial last shoe had dropped.

To Make a Comeback

I saw an interesting sign today that got me thinking. I know, right? Stiffle the shock.

"To Make a Comeback, You Have to Move On".

As I sat at the stop light by our local Chick-fil-a, I started thinking about that sign and how true that statement is. A lot of times, when we struggle with something and we fall, or when tragedy strikes and we waver, we put our hands in the air and expect God to reach down and propel us toward a different future. We spend so much time in self-condemnation or self-pity, that we robe ourselves of the very step necessary to bring about change. We refuse (for whatever reason) to move forward.

It says in the Word that his eyes roam the Earth looking for his children in need...that He is an ever present lighthouse in times of trouble, showing us which direction leads us back to His path. But there we sit, in our little dingy, riding wave after wave of troubled water, not willing or able to move towards that light. In fact, many times, we excuse ourselves of the responsibility of the pursuit all together. There comes a point when you realize that the only way to beat the situation is to put in your oars and prepare to row.

Don't ride out the storm, fight for a comeback.

I have a new love....

Don't worry...it's not another man!!! Everyone and their brother's cousin knows that I'm not interested in anyone else of the male persuasion until my husband's incredibly nice legs start to go South. haha Never gonna happen! They show no signs of stopping and even if they did, I know I would become fixated on another part...his eyes run a close second!

However, I have developed an increasing crush on Kim Bap. I'm crazy about the stuff. I think of different things to crush into the delicious wrapping of sesame seasoned rice and nori. (dried seaweed). My mouth waters at the anticipation of drowning it in soy sauce. Kim Bap is an enabler. I'd look pretty crazy downing a whole bottle of Kikkoman without it's help. Alas, only a few more days before my bamboo sushi mat arrives....the expectation alone is about to do me in!

When Heartbreak Happens

Sometimes its funny how a conversation with a friend leads you to remember the very simple facts that are foundational in your relationship with God. The following is a reflection on my miscarriage and what I learned from it.

During the last several years, we had only used Natural Family Planning because my system just gets totally out of whack on hormonal birth control. Anyway, we were very careful, but ended up pregnant a few years ago right around New Years. I was shocked. In fact, truth be told, I wasn't ready for another baby. Our last daughter was only around two at the time and I like to have mine more spaced out for sanity sake.

Anyway, needless to say, I was upset and worried. Around the beginning of the second month, I started to feel a little better about it all. Through prayer and the support of my husband, I began to believe that God was indeed going to take care of us. In my sixth week of pregnancy, I started having irregular bleeding. I hadn't done this with ANY of my previous pregnancies and was very concerned. I called my doctor and she agreed to do an early ultrasound. We saw the little flashing heartbeat and she told me "Never fear" because she rarely ever looses a baby once she sees a heart beat. We went home relieved. Needless to say, I miscarried the very next day.

Numb. That's the only way I can describe it. I felt numb. After that wore off, I moved on the anger. It took me several weeks to move through the different emotions until I came to a place to understand that God would indeed redeem this situation just like he had done so many times in my life. Sometimes I still wonder. But I know that the pain that I went through is overshadowed by the chance I have to give someone else hope.

We conceived my son only 5 months after that. He's the wild child running through the nursery named Silas.

I don't know why things happen the way they do. I'm not smart enough to figure everything out...but I do know that it is during times of hurt and disappointment that bring us closer to God. I don't believe we suffer just to rekindle our relationship with him, but I do believe it is sometimes the only silver lining in a bleak and cloudy season. Some day, I'll be able to ask why things like this happen, but until then, I take comfort in the fact that in times of trouble, he not only cares, but waits for me to come flying into his arms.

Ode to Graduate School

This isn't really an ode....it's just more like a tirade.

In my quest for self-punishment, I foolishly decided that grad school would be a really great choice for me this year. This decision turned out to be in line with the majority of decisions that have come before it.....dim sighted. What the heck was I thinking??? There's a distinct possibility that I need some kind of 12 step program for self-abasement. What's next? Flogging myself? Am I really not that far removed from the albino wackjob in The Di Vinci Code? (Excellent performance by Paul Bettany, by the way!)

So here's another rousing top ten list of things I can't stand or confuse me about graduate school:

10)As hard as it is to believe, I'm actually paying quite a bit of money for this torture.

9) Why haven't any long term studies been done on the relationship between childbearing and decreased brain mass? Inquiring (albeit...forgetful and disoriented) minds want to know!

8) Why do the youth of today hate me?

7) It is really unnecessary to have a Ph.D if your eventual career path leads you in a direction to point out my shortcomings.

6) Seriously....what use is a Master's Degree these days? I'd be better off sitting at home and honing my Guitar Hero skills. That will probably be more impressive on the resume that I will someday submit to a previous UCA student that failed to matriculate due to their addiction to gaming but whose future employment was not impacted when they invented the latest and greatest Facebook application that sweeps the nation.

5) When does reiteration start to resemble 'line writing' like we did for swearing? Cause that's where I want to take my papers...right up to before that threshold to make my page minimums. (If you have no idea what 'line writing' is, I promise you will find nothing of use or value on this blog)

4) Do I really need to know that George Washington wasn't our first president? Seriously? Is there a half penny or something that I don't know about? Is it still in circulation??? Has anyone stopped to consider how fragile my foundation in primary education is? The realization that I have been improperly schooled about such a pivotal piece of education might bring the whole house of learning cards down on me. What next? Bill Clinton wasn't really a jogger??? Where does the madness end?

3) How in the heck am I supposed to excel in graduate school when I can't even figure out how to open the intranet to get my freakin' homework assignments?

2) Wanna know how every single downfall through out civilization has occurred? GROUP WORK! The dark ages? It broke out after a little group work. Spanish Inquisition? Group work. Cold War? A little thing called group work. The implosion of the Challenger? Group work there too. Get the picture?

1) Graduate school just BITES!!!

What does your wedding dress say about you?

Recently, I became aware of an article that was published by Forbes
about what your wedding dress says about you. The article I'm referring to can be found here.

I disagreed with many of the conclusions that were drawn so I've decided to start my own now list:

Ruffles: Forbes says that picking a dress like this makes you Ready to Party. Really? Ready to party? Because to me, it only looks like you stand ready to distribute hundreds of yards of toilet paper to a Charmin challenged nation.

Sheath: Evidently, a sheath dress means that you are Modern. I guess if modern means 'totally devoid of any appealing shape whatsoever' then they are right on the money!

Empire: Supposedly, an empire waistline means that you are Old Fashioned. And by old fashioned they must mean fond of yesteryear where the ladies cinched up their diaphragms and decided not to breath for a few hours until released from their misery. It looks like the only thing this empire dress reminds this bride of is how she adores the taste of blood. Either Empire is slang for Vampire, or she's about to set everyone in the church on fire after being bathed in matrimonial pig blood.

Halter: Halter dresses mean you are Practical. Practically what? Practically about to cause your minister to pass out when he sees your squished and squeezed cleavage? How practical are you? Practical enough to use it as an apron after the ceremony? Sometimes there should be a limit to practicality. Who the heck wants to be practical on their wedding day anyway? Lie to your average and uber conscious bride and tell her what a diva she looks like....only remember to say it again when she's standing in the kitchen baking cookies in it later!

Sleeves: Brides who chose dresses with sleeves are Modest. That's code for 'You think your arms are too fat!'

If you must wear sleeves, please don't wear them attached to a dress that looks like it was made out of your grandma's doilies!

Ball Gown: A woman that walks down the aisle in a ball gown is Extravagant. Extravagant? No. Setting yourself up for failure? Yes! You might seriously think you're walking down the aisle to meet your prince charming. If so, that Thigh Master that he buys you for your 6th birthday together will dispel that nasty assumption! When your staring at his dirty underwear on the floor a year from now, you'll think you traded George Clooney for Homer Simpson. He doesn't leave his dirty laundry on the floor? All that means is that he's waiting for you guys to have kids so that they create a buffer of distraction to conceal his dastardly deed.

Mermaid: Mermaid choosers are Proud of Their Curves. Nope. It means your devoid of all taste and from the looks of this model, are quite possibly headless to boot.

Strapless: Conventional

If this appeared on the GRE test, it would be a test of your ability to unravel antonyms. Seriously? We've gotten to a point in society where wearing a strapless dress in a church is conventional? We have strange conventions.

Short: Brides that prefer things short are Unconventional. See... If you are unsure based on the hemline, you can also tell she's unconventional by the way her dress has straps on it. (See above) The other dead giveaway is that most people that attach clam shells to their person are not brides, but are aquatic performers of some kind. Bum rap for aquatic performers since I'm sure a great many of them consider themselves to be conventional by any other measure.

Goddess: Women that choose this type of gown are considered Fashion Forward. I'm thinking schizophrenic. There's a possibility that personality A wanted to go with a sheath, while personality B really wanted to accentuate her curves (bad taste) by wearing a mermaid. But wait, Sybil's not done yet. Personality C wanted to go all the way with a strapless, but poor Personality D just wanted to keep things unconventional. Needless to say, if your new brides comes strolling down the aisle in this little number...you had better have an abundance of mental health insurance. Momma's gonna need it!

So.....what's a body look like?

So, like every other family in America, we've been glued to the tube the last few days watching Phelps gather up gold medals like Easter eggs. Although watching him (and all the wonderful competitors, both American and otherwise) is indeed a site to see, my husband and I both witnessed the most awesome experience during the opening ceremonies.

As we sat on the couch and watched scene after scene, it became overwhelming how harmoniously the Chinese performers worked together to create such a show of symmetry! I have seen marching bands that would be considered by many to be impressive, but it was NOTHING compared to what we saw take place that night: Every step was assured, every single individual worked with those around them to become like one moving picture... one body.

Eventually, it got to a part where there were a collection of boxes in the center of the arena. Hundreds and hundreds of boxes that all moved up and down to create really complex designs. My husband and I argued over whether they were computerized. "Those are DEFINITELY people under there, Jason!" "No way, Heather, there is NO WAY people could work that well together as one." "Oh yes they could, if they were Chinese!"

Needless to say, a few minutes later I was vindicated. Up jumped the boxes and people poured out from under their cardboard 'shells'. Instead of rubbing in my meager victory, I was absolutely stopped dead in my tracks by my husband's response...

"You know, that's what we're supposed to be like... the Body of Christ. Can you imagine the impact that we would have and the things that we could accomplish if we could stop arguing and feeling superior long enough to really work together as God intended? Not only would it be efficient, look at how captivating it is to others watching?"

Believe it or not, that revelation rendered me speechless.

Deep Thoughts From a Source...Albeit a STRANGE Source!

Sometimes you find wisdom in the strangest of places.

I don't know if it's because I'm cynical or because I'm jaded, but for the most part, I don't put a lot of stock in Christian television speakers. Now, I'm not saying they all reek of commercialism and greed, but the sad truth is that many people that say they come in the name of Jesus, have proven themselves to only be coming for that next pledge or donation.

In addition to this mistrust of television evangelists, I don't watch a lot of television. I do make an effort to watch it here and there (a little show called 'House' comes to mind), but for the most part, my ears don't perk up for anything other than a few sarcastic remarks from Hugh Laurie or the mesmerizing theme song for yet ANOTHER rerun of Law and Order that I will happily watch again. Added to this is the belief that anything on television during daylight hours is bound to destroy brain cells at a faster rate than huffing.

Imagine my surprise at finding myself watching Joyce Meyer this morning. For some unknown reason (divine appointment) I resisted the urge to turn off the tv and sat for a few minutes to watch. She was speaking on Boldness and Confidence...two areas that I fail in miserably.

This is the basic gist of the teaching:

1) You've been given an opportunity to ask for what you need and desire as long as it falls into the will of God.

2) Because of your position in the belief of Jesus, you have the ability to approach the Lord with confidence and boldness as spoken of in SEVERAL scriptures both Old and New with your petitions.

3) When we don't approach with confidence and boldness, it is out of false humility and fear (that sounds familiar).

4) We can't allow obstacles to keep us from doing the work that has been laid out for us. The Lord has put specific passions in our hearts for a reason. If you push through the obstacles and keep going, a blessing waits on the other side.

Wisdom. Even when it comes out of a tv. Say what you want about faith, but I think its UNCANNY how God will go the extra mile to make the same point twice to reaffirm that you're on the right path. Makes it easy for those of us that are cynical and not so good with directions.

Christine Caine

Honestly, I'm having a little trouble putting into words the experience that I had last night. My friend Nicholle and I went to the Little Rock Campus to see Christine Caine from Hillsong Church. Always a great speaker, I was excited about what nugget of wisdom she would be doling out in her "Awesomely laid back Australian way". Even so, the full impact of much of what she had to say was surprising.

I don't know if its because of my history, or because I am usually a champion of the underdog, but when she spoke about her newest outreach project The A21 Campaign, my outrage was so strong that a fever LITERALLY spread over my entire body! I wish I had been brave enough to go up and talk to her.

Fear and the Sweater

Today has been a strange day. A day of thinking and wondering...a day of questions and reflection...a day where I'm LOOKING for something. These kind of days are both awesome, and trying. Awesome if you are given some wisdom, and dismally trying if you don't get any.

I've been thinking about fear the last few days... especially today. Fear about the plans that God has for you, fear about what others may think of those plans, fear about having no plan at all, or WORSE... following your own plan when its SO obvious that its yours instead of His.

I would say that my fear falls into the second category. I think that's true of a lot of
Christians. Sometimes we argue ourselves out of what God's told us to do just because the dream is SO large and SO unrealistic, that we hide in uncertainty without ever using our gifts as effectively as we could. You hide your passion and dole out just a tad at a time to keep from revealing the unabridged version to those around you...even people that you trust with many other things.

Sometimes the fear of appearing prideful makes us cowardly.

I don't think its prideful to speak with authority what God tells YOU to say. It's not prideful to be given a gift that is better expressed in a group setting. It's not prideful to be bubbling over with excitement to tell someone the latest bit of wisdom you've been given. In fact, its prideful not to: That means we've allow ourselves to start believing that by reeling in our gifting, we've made the right decision. That decision isn't ours to make.

Life is strange. It's like someone giving you a sweater at Christmas and saying..."Thanks so much for this gift. I know you thought a lot of me to give it to me, and I think its' really great....but I'm not going to wear it out of the house. I just don't want anyone else to see it. I'm worried what they would think."

I wonder if He sits there shaking his head in bewilderment. I'm sure he does, but I don't think it ends there. I think he looks for someone else to send a sweater.

What a cool guy!

I like him. He has a realness about him that's refreshing to see in student ministry. I think I'll also give him a blog link on my totally groovy list of awesomely cool blogs to read.

www.jasoncurry.org

Stop for Pedestrians in Crosswalk

I'm sure I've seen these signs a thousand times over, but when I saw it this morning, God jumped on it as an opportunity to share with me something that I think affects anyone that has ever been in ministry.

This is the warning sign that I wish all Christians wore around their necks as reminders. How many times in the past have I known of a hurt, or of someone in need of encouragement, but let my own life and trials keep me from "stopping" for them. Oh I might slow down a little, I might even give them a brief pause long enough to hear that there is a problem, but then...its right back up to mock speed without really stopping long enough to give any life to the situation. The sad truth of the matter is, it's an inconvenience to my life at the time. Oh... I know. We would all like to believe that we've never gotten into that pattern in leadership, but I don't think many of us can honestly say we've never been there, or never left someone in need behind shivering in our wake.

It's time to take inventory and realize its a problem, admit past defeat, and then try to have it happen less. That's the bright lining! Its a problem that can be fixed by being more concerned about listening for discernment, then with the birthday party that we have to be at that afternoon. If we want to be Christlike in our leadership, then we have to realize that what he's called us to do is more than a pause...more than a yield and a "I'll be praying for you". It's a STOP: A complete cessation of motion until the hazard is avoided or diverted.

That's what kind of leader I want to be: One that takes enough time to take care of 'pedestrians' in their 'crosswalk'. Not pausing just long enough to feel like I've made a difference, but STOPPING long enough to KNOW I've made one.

I wish....

I was a fiction writer. So bad. Is it wrong to be jealous of those that can put pen to paper and come up with something astoundingly creative? I am. The most creative thing I can come up with is whether to make shells and cheese or rice-a-roni for dinner. (Between you and I...the rice-a-roni has more of a "throw caution to the wind and live" kind of thing going on!)

Can you imagine a career where you spend your time daydreaming and researching areas of particular interest to you? Heaven.

Another.......

Crazy Harry vs. Steve Buscemi

Why Christian?

I dabbled with religion all the way through high school and college. I was interested in EVERY religion other than Christianity. Christianity just seemed the most idiotic and illogical. (I see now that my view was very tarnished by propaganda thinking considering every major religion focuses on faith rather than logic.) I got very into philosophy during college and became really disenfranchised with all religions. (Think Marx and the whole "opiate of the masses" argument)

I decided to stop searching and considered myself to be atheist. Didn't start looking again until God showed me that it wasn't so much about me finding my own answers as it was allowing myself to be guided by his.

I still question eveything. LOL God just "grew" me that way. But, I have had enough experiences now that I don't really question my faith to the point of unbelief. Faith isn't about knowing all the answers, it's about believing when you don't.

Another to ponder

Celebrity Lookalikes

I like celebrities that look like different people, things, animals, muppets, etc.

Here's one for consideration:




Donatella Versace and Janice from the Muppets

Eternal Perspective

I guess I'm starting to get nervous. I have to speak on Monday to a large group of women, and as grateful as I am for the opportunity, I can't help focusing on what I'm going to say of if it will have any impact. When you put yourself out there for God, you're hoping to make a difference for SOMEONE...anyone really. I started thinking about all of the things that have happened in my life and how my perspective has changed so much, even though the circumstances stand unchanged.



I was pregnant and unmarried at 17. Not that big of a shocker in this day and age, but it rocked to the core my Bible belt family. Needless to say, it was a very unplanned and unwanted pregnancy. As I struggled through college and a terrible marriage...I dwell ed on how God didn't protect me...didn't watch out for me. How I was left to suffer the consequences when I saw a lot of girls doing the same thing...maybe doing it even more....and they never ended up pregnant. I thought about it when I had to decline walking in my high school graduation. I thought about it when I would go to the grocery store and get disapproving looks from older women. I thought about it as a single mother struggling to make it out of college with two jobs and a little girl. I thought about it a lot and I never got an answer.



Fast forward a few years. I grew up. I became a believer. I changed. I got an eternal perspective. Was it that God didn't protect me? No. After all, statistically I should have gotten an STD? Was it that God didn't watch out for me? No. I never wanted for anything and always had plenty. In fact, although I struggled, I beat the odds and graduated from college with high marks.

I get it now. My vision isn't short sighted...it's long term. All those years when I thought that God had abandoned me and took revenge, he was really being merciful. Instead of all of the bad things that could have happened...he took one look at me and decided that he would make me a mother. He gave me the opportunity to be "Mommy" to a great kid.

See what I mean? Same outcome, different outlook. He didn't curse me with a teenage pregnancy...he blessed me in spite of my sinfulness. Sometimes I think a lot of the bad things that happen to us in life are like this. Maybe if we could see the big picture, we would understand what he has in store for all of us. If we could get over our shortsightedness we could see how differently tragedies look with eternity in mind.

Toad Suck Daze Madness

It's that time of year again when everyone in our small community goes stark raving mad about toads. Enough that they are in a "daze" even.

One of my good friends is running in the 5K without me tomorrow. I am sad at the loss of camaraderie....almost as much as I am sad about the lost opportunity to carb load without feeling guilty.

Perhaps I will go by Wally World and buy some doughnuts! This doughnut's for you Jemay!

Nevermind me...Just tighten the straightjacket!

Ah. Home ownership. Doesn't it sound grand? Doesn't the mere mention of it make the flowers brighter and the birds chirpier and the sun...well, SUNNIER???

After having spent an entire weekend working in my new house to make it presentable, I can tell you that the groaning of a breaking back will override the chirping of those birds every FREAKIN' time! How much work did I do? Enough to inspire one of my Top Ten lists. But because of a lack of follow through and because my hands hurt SO bad...I'm limiting it to only 5.

The Top Five things that EVERY homeowner needs to understand:

1) Procrastination is NOT your friend. If you put off pulling those 5 inch weeds for a few weeks, there will only be 25 inch weeds there to greet you later. Unless, you finagle a way to get a neighborhood kid to pull them for a minute amount of money. That usually requires some good "dirt" on the kid though and now they are into virally displaying their "dirt" for everyone to see as a passage into ce-web-rity. Good luck blackmailing them now!

2) Just because you own a faucet AND a crescent wrench doesn't mean you are licensed to use them together. Quit being cheap and hire someone. Divorce is WAY more expensive than a plumber.

3) The amount that gets done at your house in a weekend is directly proportional to the amount of time your television is on. Save yourself the trouble of blowing out your vocal cords and just unplug the stupid thing. Children even up to the age of 14 or so will believe that lightning DID, in fact, strike only your television and it sets them up to witness a miracle of massive proportions on Monday when the stupid box turns back on. Be a "dream giver" to your children!

4) There are 24 hours in a day. Most projects will take twice to three times as long as you have them "scheduled" for. Your check list may look impressive on paper, but it is likely to be unattainable in real life. Don't worry- you will have plenty time to keep the "fun" going on Monday night while you kids are plastered blank faced in front of the tv shaking from withdrawals.

5) Don't buy one of everything. 99.9% of tools can be borrowed from others. In fact, I contend that's why God created neighbors. Don't become a plight though, return the love by making some great coffee as a thank you. That... or give them the television that you were able to do without for an entire weekend. Heck, maybe your kids will follow the tv and move in with them too! That's a great upside to borrowing!

Here's a little story 'bout a man named Silas...

Why does my one-year old understand that I am incapable for catching him in my transformer boot (see below). Does that seem fair? I don't think that's fair!

I don't get it. He will sit and take a toy and hit himself over and over in the head again and again and again trying to see if it will always produce the same outcome. How in the world can THAT SAME CHILD understand that I am incapacitated???

God MUST have a sense of humor!

Either that or his Daddy explained it all to him. Probably both, which explains how I ended up with my husband AND my son.

Ode to my walking boot.....

Have you ever seen such a beautiful boot?

Seriously, have you?

A lot of people would look at this boot and think....."Whoa, Stormtrooper coming through". But me? I think it has a bit of a 'Transformer' look to it. Besides, what other boot do I have with not one...but TWO fabulous metal sticks on the side???

Alas, this is going to be a long 3 to 6 weeks! On the upside, it gives me a legitimate reason not to be working out. Not that I was above using all those illegitimate reasons before.

6 Degrees of Jenny

I work with Jenny. She's a nice girl. She is also relationally inbred. I overlook this little fact because she IS such a nice girl....well, I DID overlook it. But now she has invaded my life and has started her inbreeding within my family unit. I'm not down with that....not at all.

Evidently, Greek organizations (in your adult years) are the ties that bind and gag. Jenny and her husband have a small select group of friends (frat and sorority) that all intermingle and cohabitate....which leads me to refer to her "friendships" as "inbreeding". She doesn't mean to (I don't think) and she's a really outgoing girl. So, why do all of their friends travel in a pack? Why don't they date outside the circle? Why is EVERYONE in the state somehow friends with or dating friends of Jenny? And most importantly....WHY IS MY COUSIN'S PICTURE IN HER CAMERA!?!?!

That's right. She's expanded her little clan circle to include my family members! While looking over some of her pictures from a recent shower, I stopped short after realizing that my cousin was involved in her weekend tom-foolery. After her repeated cries of ....."SHUT UP" ceased, I determined that it was indeed my cousin Amy and that I had fallen victim to the "Jenny trap".

I guess it's ok. Unless Amy starts wearing cast off costumes from Little House on the Prairie and asking to marry another man in addition to my cousin Chad.

Today at UCA

So, I had an exciting day today!

I can't think....

Of anything else witty. So look at this! Have you ever seen such a perfectly round, bald head before???!!!!

Oh yeah....TWO memberships!

So, a good friend of mine (well, I think she's good. Sometimes I sense a "darkness" about her...but that's just mostly when we're running) sent me this blog link to a woman lamenting the fact that she pays approximately $157 every time she enters the gym due to her sporadic attendance. Coming from someone that hasn't entered her gyms...yes PLURAL...gymSSSSS in over 5 months, I just wanted to take a moment to say that her level of commitment to wasting money does not impress me!!! What an amateur! I can beat that.

Now,I may not actually be able to PHYSICALLY beat that because as I have already mentioned...I don't actually visit my gymSSSSS. However, I can FIGURATIVELY beat that all day long. It is a horrible misappropriation of budgeting to own a gym membership that you never intend to use. Think of all the bags of potato chips or slurpees you could be buying with that hard earned money! The possibilities for snack food is endless.

But once you are indeed the owner to TWO memberships that you never intend to use...that's when you enter the same plane as the giants! That's when you've taken it to the next level and elevated your personal level of sloveness to new heights!

It's like settling for a size 14 pair of pants when you COULD be wearing a 16! Where is your follow through...you sense of dedication??!!!

I know there are others out there like me. They're thinking......I NEED another one!!! Why have I placed a glass ceiling on myself? I need TWO gymSSSS that I never intend to frequent. Don't be afraid!!! I am NOT unique...you TOO can have multiple gymSSSS and plenty of excuses for not going to them. REACH FOR THE STARS!!!!

Fishers of Men

As I was running last night (it still never ceases to amaze me that I can think at all while dying), I started thinking about how I've been asked to share my testimony at an upcoming women's meeting. In between gasps, I mentally asked God why I would have ANYTHING of interest to add to a meeting like that. How in the world could I be a story that would inspire others? Why in the world would I be asked to do something like that when I am the LEAST likely person to elloquently witness? WHAT in the world is God thinking!?!?!

I started thinking about fishing. Fishers of men: That's what the word says. He said "Come with me and I will make you fishers of men". I started thinking about the act of fishing. How sometimes, to catch a certain fish, you have to fish in the right area. Sometimes, you have to fish in the right season or the right temperature. Sometimes you even have to fish with the right bait...all depending on what type of fish you are after.

Maybe fishing for men is the same concept. Maybe there are people out there that regardless of how inadequate we feel to share...maybe our "bait" is the only thing that will make a difference to others. Maybe I have to be a witness to people that only trust others that make a mess of things first.

Maybe we shouldn't look toward our inadequacies to witness as excuses but actually start looking at them as being the reason that we're to witness at all. Maybe my witness is important BECAUSE of my inadequcy.

Pre-Marital Advice

You know...sitting through pre-marital class last night, I started compiling a list of the advice I would like to give but probably shouldn't. Not that this advice wouldn't be helpful, but that it would be a downer to anyone actually about to tie the knot. So instead of sending my class of 10 ewey, gooey couples into cardiac arrest about the BIGGEST DECISION they are making in their lives, I will refrain and allow my virtual alter ego post online in cyberspace whereas not to scare poor counselies:

1) He/She WILL become your Mother/Father. I know you don't see it now...but TRUST ME on this. By the slim chance that they don't become YOUR mother or father, they will become THEIR mother or father. Either way, there is going to be a family resemblance.

2) When you do end up fighting, notice I didn't say "IF", don't try to hide it from your friends and loved ones. We will immediately consider you suspect and won't trust you with anything else important...like providing the pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving.

3) Did I mention that you WILL eventually fight? Don't get depressed at the prospect, just try not to draw blood. If anything, it should reaffirm you to know that you are human and incapable of sharing toothpaste for an extended period of time.

4) In the long run, it won't matter a hill of beans what colors or styles your bridesmaids are wearing. As long as the bride, the groom, and the pastor show up...it's all good. Besides, no matter WHAT you pick, your dear Aunt Mabel isn't going to like it anyway and will take ample opportunity at the reception to discuss both her dislike for your color choice and how wide your dress makes you look. Pray your spouse doesn't bypass your parents and end up becoming dear Aunt Mabel.

5) Over the course of this event and the planning thereof, either her mother or his mother is going to have their feelings hurt. In all reality, it will be both.

6) Regardless of how much your parents are in agreement with your nuptials, his parents have talked at length about the brides' shortcomings and visaversa. It's just a fact of life. As parents, we have so closely monitored our children's decisions that we can't help but be skeptical. I mean, are we really supposed to completely trust the judgement of someone that decided at 15 to start claiming "street cred"? Not going to happen. If it escalates to the point of a Jerry Springer episode, you might want to call off the wedding.

7)If you don't like his mother now...you for SURE are not going to like her when the advice about rearing your first child starts to surface. If you don't like her mother....run now!!!

8) Please spend as much time picking your mate as you do picking your prom dress. The same goes for him...don't invest more energy in choosing your car than you do your potential wife. The perfect prom dress is rarely found after the first store and there are no lemon laws concerning wives.

9) If anyone tells you they are an expert in marriage, call your pastor immediately. There is a demon possessed person standing in front of you that needs to be excised.

10) All in all, your potential mate should be a perfect match in all realms: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. When all else fails, make sure that spiritual part works out...cause it's only by the GRACE of God that you're gonna make this thing work!

A little extra: We'll call it 10+

Consider ALL marital advice as suspect! That includes this blog.

Deal or No Deal.

Last night, I had the rare opportunity to actually watch a little television. Flipping through the channels, I barely took notice of the "big brother" shows or the cop drama. I kept right on flipping until I got the the game show Deal or No Deal. And there, much to my husband's dismay, I sat the remote aside and concentrated all of my attention on whether some amateur baseball player was going to walk away from the table $1,000,000 richer.

The premise of the show is easy enough. The contestant is given a case in which it holds a certain amount of money. A large number of scantily clad women appear on the stage with identical cases that contain various amounts of money anywhere from .01 to 1,000,000. The contestant must choose cases one at a time, and the amount that is in each case is no longer available to the contestant. Throughout the game, the "banker" will make offers to the contestant to entice the player to step away from the game with a "settlement" amount. If the player decides to decline the offer, than that contestant gets to pick more cases before being offered a settlement again. The whole idea of the game is to keep that 1,000,000 case from being opened, in which case, the contestant becomes 1 million dollars richer.

So, last night, I sat with baited breath waiting to see if this guy was going to win it all. Starting off, the man was confident that he was going to take home the million. Time went on, cases were opened and still, the 1,000,000 case was still available. The banker made counter offers trying to get him to stop playing. He opened more cases. His chances were looking better and better. The banker made another offer. More cases were opened...his chances were better still. It was risky, but he was still in the game, the prize was still within his reach. The banker made yet another offer...a good offer. More cases, no million. Still in the running, but the man's demeanor started to waiver...how in the world was he actually going to get the million? The banker gave him an offer, and then...the man that was SO convinced that his case had the million...just upped and quit. He settled. Sure it was for 100K dollars! A good deal of money to walk away with. But not the prize that his sights had been set on at first. Far from it. He had settled big time.

After the players walk away from the game, they always continue through and ask the contestant what cases they would have opened next. He kept choosing and each time, there wasn't 1,000,000 in the women's cases. As it turns out, he was holding the million dollar case the entire time. The prize that he wanted and was sure that he would be blessed with was always within his reach.

I felt bad for the guy! But more importantly, I started thinking about how this is just like how we treat God's promises. So many times we want the big blessing, we start off believing that He wants to give us the big blessing. But then, as time goes on and trials come and other offers surface, we start to doubt that we either A) deserve the blessing or that B) God has the blessing for us in the first place.

Can you imagine what like would be like if we just said "No deal"...."I'm not settling anymore for less than the absolute BEST that God has for me!" It's risky, no doubt. But everything in life is about taking chances. I figure my chances with God have GOT to be better than the deals I am willing to settle for in life.

Weather, smeather

What in the world? No seriously....WHAT IN THE WORLD?!?!?!

60 degrees in the morning and an expected accumulation of an inch of snow by tonight? The only goes to further my theory that the gubment DOES indeed control the weather and that we are merely pawns in this fiasco. Somehow though, the good citizens of Arizona have avoided detection up until this point. Strange.

I know that we need sunshine for the golf course, but I teeter back and forth between purchasing stock in Watson's and North Face. I guess I'll go with North Face. They don't seem to promote their products with sexy, half-dressed spokeswomen. Although I have to give Watson's mad props for advertising their pools and spas with flotation devices. That shows forethought!

I'm a masochist

Well, we bought a new house. Aside from the fact that I'm about to hyperventilate at the thought of carrying two mortgages, I'm doing pretty good.

It has a pool. That seemed like a REALLY good idea until I came to the realization that I was going to have to wear a swimsuit. Even with pepto, I'm still nauseous about it. I MUST be a masochist.

On a completely unrelated note, why can't I spell check my blogger posts? Does anyone know?

Flying...flying....flying

I'm taking off today to Willamsburg, VA. I'm a basket case. I REALLY don't like to fly. REALLY DON'T!!! I don't know why it makes me so nervous. The security stuff really freaks me out!

On top of that, my husband is home negotiating the contract on a new house! There's some drama for you...as if I didn't have enough to worry about. Did I happen to mention that I have had NO PEDICURE for over 6 months now. Do you know how bad my toes looked when I took my shoes off. I thought the poor security guy was going to call "OPEN TOE SHOE VIOLATION" on me. Good thing I am not flying internationally, I'm sure that would have been a deal braker.

The only thing keeping me sane is the thought that I may be able to dip my toes in a sparkling pool of cool ecstacy this summer if all goes according to plans. Hopefully I'll remember to clean the stupid pool before my new shiny pedicure becomes leaf encrusted. After further thought, that's what I have children for, after all.

Britney for President!!!

I think I've hit on something.

In an age where "one stop shopping" is the driving force behind everything from banking to burritos, let's consider the idea of combining American fascination with current political practices.

I vote that we elect Britney. Think of the positive benefits here: She never hides ANY of her embarrassing mistakes from us, she is calling into question the entire pharmacutical industry by performing personal evaluations on a myriad of products simultaneously, she has 24/7 media coverage so that no covert or shady dealings might be missed by a blissfully unaware public, and running mates....can you imagine the endless possibilities here??? Paris, Lindsey, the list could go on and on.

And the VERY best reason that we should elect Britney as the next president of the United States of America is that FINALLY the average American citizen won't be saddled with the delima that is... How do I devote enough time to learning about my country and my responsibility as a citizen without missing the lastest episode of Entertainment Tonight? Better yet...the her campaign slogan could be...

"I learned everything I needed to know about being a US citizen by watching the E channel!"

I don't think our current polling sites would be able to support the influx of new voters. In fact, I predict that a full 20% of the population might actually turn out to vote.

Sometimes, its up to us.

So, the queen of personal responsibility is having issues with.......personal responsibility. Crazy, huh? As I've gotten older, I think I have been sucessful in taking a lot of responsibility for my life. I struggled through college and took the job I didn't want, to eventually get the job I do. I am fiscally responsible and live pretty well below my means. My spending is always tempered with my saving. I try to cultivate a home of grace and peace (failing miserably most of the time) and take care to instill in my children the awesome opportunity that responsibility presents.

So where's the breakdown? What area have I not taken by the horns and given an ol' college try? Church Leadership. Over the last several years, while growing deeper in my faith, I've really wanted to step into women's leadership more at our church. So, what is my tactic? No tactic. None. In fact, so far all I have done is sit around and pout that I haven't been given more opportunities.

We're like that with the things of God, aren't we? The rest of the world might tremble in our wake, but we are plagued with the inability to move in and take possession of the work that God has for us. We let our feelings of inferiority, our pride, our distraction...just about anything keep us from stepping out and holding ourselves responsible.

How is that an assertive person can be so effective following their personal path, yet fail so miserably to make headway on a God ORDAINED path?

I believe in personal responsibility. In our attempt to help everyone up, we have forgotten to teach them how to climb on their own.

I believe we shouldn't expect our citizens to be more financially responsible then our government is committed to being.

I believe in the sanctity of life from womb til death. Though I don't value any life (the smallest) more than others, I do feel they are at a disadvantage of not being in a position to help themselves and should be looked after because of that. I understand medical necessities and then I understand just not being responsible. I can sympathize with one side, but not the other.

I believe that our government should be small and efficient. If it took less money to run it, that would leave more money for average citizens to help those around them. I don't feel that we have focused on the individual, I feel that we have focused on the individual's "plight" and because of that have essentially turned them into only a "number" again.

I don't believe that "Capitalism" is a dirty word. I think it makes sense to preserve it. Just because there are a few things out of whack doesn't mean you scrap the whole thing. It DID get us this far.

I believe that if we do fund social initiatives, that they should be closely monitored and should inspire responsibility in those that participate...like Heifer International. I think the pendulum has swung too far and we have created "glass ceilings" on personal achievement.

I DO NOT want the government regulating my health care. I just don't believe they have the capacity to handle such a beast and fear that it would become an even larger nightmare. Could you imagine a doctor's office run like your local DMV office??? And I'm a STATE EMPLOYEE!